The Heartbreaking Tale of Whatsisname
(lyrics by Tristan O'Malley)

Sometimes I feel like a bass player
in a country and western band
My job gets so repetitive
And my role is very bland
Pedal steel gets to solo
and the guitarist gets all the dames
The drummer gets to wear a ten gallon hat
and I get called "whatsisname"

And I'm a loser with a Fender
strapped faithfully by my side
I've never even seen a real live horse
or let alone tried to ride

The Grand Ol' Opry doesn't look so fine
from the curtain wing of the stage
They always stick me over here
so I don't get in the way
There's a tear in my beer 'coz they jeer and they jeer
Because I pluck the big fat strings
And nobody ever calls me "cowboy" or "Tex"
They just call me "whatsisname"

And I'm a loser with a Fender
strapped faithfully by my side
I've never even seen a real live horse
or let alone tried to ride

and I go root, 5th...